


Rebecca A.

by RichelleJoy



Category: 16th Century CE RPF, Historical RPF
Genre: 16th Century CE, American History, Antisemitism, Arranged Marriage, Family Issues, Female Jewish Character, Gen, Historical, Islamophobia, Jewish Character, Jewish Identity, POV Female Character, Period Typical Attitudes, Period-Typical Racism, Period-Typical Sexism, Religion, Spanish Inquisition, Women's Rights
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-10
Updated: 2016-03-10
Packaged: 2018-05-25 21:46:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6211318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RichelleJoy/pseuds/RichelleJoy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rebecca A., a young Jewish girl, is living at the Spanish Royal Court, at the time of the Inquisition and of the New World discovery.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rebecca A.

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [Rebecca A.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6211375) by [RichelleJoy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RichelleJoy/pseuds/RichelleJoy). 



The country I was born in does not want to have anything to do with me, and has never wanted it. I am only still tolerated there by luck/bad luck. My family is an exception among my people: we have not (yet?) had to chose between exile, conversion and death. Because we are "rich". Because we are "powerful". Because the very Catholic sovereigns want us at their Court. Not because they are kind, or nice, or tolerant. God, no.

My father, Rabbi A., was and stayed the king's counsellor, even when things began to turn bad for us. He would probably still be without the awful rumour about him that says he has been "plotting with the Moors against Christendom". Which is false, of course. I highly suspect that it is the queen herself who helped this rumour leak, or even who is its origin, in order to get rid of my father's influence on the king. But my father, of course, refuses to believe me, because the king "still wants a piece of advice from time to time". Of course, there are times when he needs my father, because he hasn't anyone better, and because as long as it is not official… In Spain, "what is not official is not existent".

I hate the Court. Its hypocrisy. The noble Catholic women who pity/despise/want to know everything about me. The burning/interrogative looks men give me ("Who is she?") before they know… ("Oh, a Jewess… too bad!").

I have never been fond of being with Gentiles. How horrible a thing to say, I know. But I think it is typical of my people. Maybe our history would have been quite different if it had not been so. Who knows? But what came first, the Gentiles' hatred towards us, or our desire to be left alone, easily mistaken for arrogance and a feeling of superiority?

I cannot stop wondering why I have no friends here, even though I have never really mixed with people at the Court… Oh well… The human soul is like this…

I have always preferred spending days and nights reading religious or philosophical stuff. Sometimes a good love story, when I could find one without anyone knowing I had. They did not mean anything to me, but I kept hoping: maybe one day, if I read enough of romantic stuff, the hole inside me would be filled with good and nice feelings…

"Knowing is awesome, but learning is boring". Being well-read is a weapon to my people. Our only means to go on. That is why it is so important to us. Without knowledge, no high position in the social hierarchy, no influence. And what would my family be without its influence – or what remains of its influence? We would have been exiled long ago… That is why it is so important that the lowest among us could go to school. That the servant's youngest daughter could read and write. Anyway, that is what Father says.

My father is a man of faith. My uncle is a man of money. He is one of the main Spanish shipowners. We share the same strong and passionate patriotism. Even not welcomed, even ridiculed, this feeling will not die.

My uncle is no man of principles – as I said, he is a man of money. His only well established principle is not to have principles. That is why the king always chose A. the shipowner when he need ships.

That is also why I can only talk openly with my uncle. About almost everything. He knows how I hate my life, how I find it dull, boring, hard. He knows that I cannot stand the sight of my parents unashamedly flattering everyone, every day, to keep their ever shrinking privileges. My parents say that you have to be like a shrub in the wind, bending not to break. One day I will have to answer them that someone truly straight cannot bend.

My parents also say that I have no right to complain. I know, I know. For "the suffering of the soul is nothing compared to the suffering of the body"… Even if it is sometimes hard to believe.

There is something I could never say to my uncle. Oh God, how could I tell him that my engagement to his son is slowly killing me? How could I tell him that I will not, ever, marry him?

Did I learn Spanish, Hebrew, Aramaic, French, Italian, Latin, Greek, mathematics, astronomy, geography, history, philosophy, logic, religion and rhetoric for that? For a destiny I cannot even think about without shivering? Maybe I am indeed superficial, despite all my studies, for having red eyes, a thick waist, early wrinkles and eight children (possibly as ungrateful as I am) does not appeal to me…

I used to dream about studying medecine and helping those who suffer, for I dislike people, but have a great love for humanity.

But it is indecent for a woman, Jewish or not, to be a doctor.

I used to dream about trips, about my uncle's ships going so far away from here. Tomorrow, at dawn, Señor Cortes will be leaving on one of these ships. Ah, the New World…

But it is indecent for a woman, Jewish or not, to travel.

It is said that the vegetation is so huge there that you can make a hut under the foliage, and that the animals are strange and marvellous. It is said that, at last, the Garden of Eden has been rediscovered, and that mysterious cities of gold, with their streets paved in gems and pearls can be found there.

It is said that men are good, there. I dreamed so much about such a world…

But it is indecent for a woman, Jewish or not, to dream.

**Author's Note:**

> Some years after, Rebecca Abravanel married the wealthy Flemish Jewish merchant Nathanael Gratz. She never studied medecine, and never saw the "mysterious cities of gold". Finally she had to leave Spain with her family, and could never go back, because of the Inquisition. The Abravanel family never succeeded in finding a new home, and so never stopped travelling from France to Italy, to England… During a trip to Belgium Rebecca met her future husband. Their great great great … grand daughter Richea Gratz (1792-1881) was the first woman to attend college in the United States.


End file.
